The second was with my kids and Amata, taking an unintended turn and still winding up in the same spot. My daughter was done early, and I left with her while my boys pressed on with Amata.
On the third trip, we took a few new cavers and were at least confident of how not to go to the Disaster Room. The goal was the Haystacks on the opposite side of the cave. Though I dislike the graffiti, I enjoy the big passage in this cave.
We took a turn we did not intend to and went all the way to the right fork, to a dead end on the map. Backtracking, we finally got to a rather obviously pivotal spot and went left. Then, because we could not take chances, went left again. 😆 And if you know Howard's Waterfall, you know that put us in the sand crawl. We crawled and rolled for what seemed like a long time. I was extremely impressed with the new cavers who crawled about 800 feet.
I was happy to hang out with new people and advise them on how to crawl more efficiently. And I took photo breaks when I found nice spots in the crawl.
When I emerged from the sandy passage that brought us all to our knees and bellies, I saw a scratched "No" and arrow that seemed to point to the spot from whence I'd come. And I agreed. No indeed.
Sometimes there's no other way. A nasty crawl can be necessary going in and exiting. But this time, we were in luck and opted to take the other way out.
But before beginning that journey, most of our group crossed the breakdown to visit the Haystacks. I stayed behind with one of the new cavers and Brian. And I liked it. I'm learning my limits after my attack and how to build upon them. First, I started caving with people who respect my past. Then, I started with caves I am fine with taking beginners to. My latest progress is learning to stop while I am still having a good day.
I felt weary after that crawl, and I ate my food and enjoyed the silence as I waited for my husband and the group to return. We took a much more pleasant passage out, and eventually we were back on the same path we entered through.
I felt the exit fever fueling my steps, and I longed for the green outside hues, as my palms ached with every hold after the crawl. Those cobbles on the way out reminded me I'm delicate and had put my palms through a lot in the sand crawl.
A muddy after shot.
I love this man. He was tired and mud covered, and he set about picking up all of the trash he saw in the parking lot. Maybe no one else sees it, but I do.
It was a beautiful day trip to a cave I know well enough to lead through now. It sounds like an unremarkable trip, but I had no panic attacks and didn't hate spending my day underground for the first time in years.
(I obviously have stubbornness issues. I never gave up trying to cave, but I looked for all iterations of why I was unhappy instead.)
And then this amazing day happened.
